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 Domestic
Violence
The Brockton Police
Domestic Violence section is full of important information
about recognizing abusive situations and how to safely exit
them or get help. Please click on the links
above for more information about resources, safety plans and
the law.
The ABC's
of Abuse
ABUSIVE BEHAVIORAL CHARACTERISTICS
Abuse in
relationships involves an assault, assault and battery,
threats, and/or verbal abuse of an intimate partner over an
extended period of time. It is the intent of the abuser to
use violence and threats against their partner to control
their behavior. This continued behavior by abusers often
hider their partners ability to think and reason logically
for themselves.
Victims who have experienced chronic, severe, and/or long
term abuse often need assistance in understanding their
experience. Many are in need of support and resources so
they can leave and move on with their lives.
The risk factors that are
indicators of chronic abuse and intimate partner homicide
are, a partner is violent outside the family, partner rape,
abuse or killing of a pet, severe injury to a partner, and
/or threats to kill a partner.
There is no doubt that not
everyone who displays some of the following abusive
behavioral characteristics is or will become an abuser.
Police officers should be able to recognize these
characteristics not only when they respond to domestic
violence calls but officers should understand that some of
these abusive behavioral characteristics can be found in
their own family. Officers should be able to understand and
acknowledge these behavioral characteristics on and off the
job. All officers are expected to follow the department
policies and procedures regardless of personal belief or
bias.
Intimate partner abuse is
most prevalent among people living at the lower end of the
socioeconomic, educational scale, however, this does not
mean that it does not exist at each income status,
educational level and social strata. Abusers often refuse to
take a close look at themselves and accept what they are
doing is wrong. Victims are often not able to understand
they are victims. Do not expect the gender or appearance of
someone who abuses to fit any specific stereotype.
Alcohol, drugs, poverty,
lack of education, and specific behavioral disorder problems
often accentuate, not cause, this violent and controlling
behavior.
Abused
as children:
Many abusers were psychological victims of abuse, physically
abused and/or sexually abused as children.
Beliefs
in Traditional Sex Roles:
Abusers and many victims often hold on to traditional or
cultural sex roles (e.g., macho men, subservient women.)
Controlling:
Intimate partner abuse and violence is purposefully
controlling behavior by someone who wants complete control.
Deny:
Abusers don’t want to accept responsibility for their
violent actions or for the harm they cause. Abusers learn to
blame others for their problems, deny wrongdoing, minimize
their abuse, and see themselves as victims.
Emotionally
abusive:
Abusive behavior is not limited to physical abuse and the
emotional harm can be worse than the physical injury.
Feel
powerless:
Abusers can be frightened individuals who are afraid to be
alone in the world.
Grew
up with violence:
People who abuse understand that they can exhibit
power and gain control by throwing things and/or by raising
their voice.
Has
a negative belief system about the two sexes:
Abusers often lump “all women” or “all men”
together and do not see men or women as individuals.
Insecure:
Abusers frequently fear
that they are inadequate.
Jealous:
Abusers tend to be extremely jealous and have difficulty
trusting others.
Kill
or torture what they cannot possess:
In the worst case abusive behavior involves extreme physical
or mental cruelty. Some abusers stalk and kill those they
can no longer possess.
Lack
relationship skills:
People who abuse have had very poor role models for
important relationship skills such as problem solving,
conflict resolution, and establishing intimacy with a
partner.
Master
manipulators:
Abusers know how to make their partners feel sorry for them
and it is their partners
fault that the abuser
had to hurt them.
Not
able to nurture:
Abusers frequently have difficulty giving and receiving
love.
Overly
dependent on their partners:
Abusers may become overly dependent on their partners for
their unmet emotional needs.
Prior
History of Violence:
Three of every four abusers have a history of criminal
behavior. They may be “moody”
or have a “hot temper.” They may throw or break things
when angry.
Quickly
change from Dr. Jekyll to Mr(s).
Hyde: Abusive individuals can be extremely passive and very
charming one minute and explode in anger the next. Drugs or
alcohol often can trigger a rapid change in behavior.
Regards
partners as easy targets:
Many abusers would not think of doing to others what they do
to their partners.
Self-centered:
Abusers usually lack consideration, empathy or compassion
for others.
Try
to punish
and control with subtle forms of abuse: Abusers often use subtle
forms of abuse to punish, humiliate, and control their
partners.
Unable
to identify or express their feelings directly:
Abusers are unable to differentiate between their feelings,
and they do not have a vocabulary to express their emotions.
All of their emotions then become funneled through anger or
violence.
Vary
by type:
People who abuse vary by income level, appearance and
gender. They may be emotionally abusive, physically abusive,
or both. Their abuse may be confined to family members
inside the home, or they may be violent outside the home as
well.
Will
get what they want through physical violence:
Abusers believe that their violence is a convenient tool to
get what they want to make things go the way they
want.
Xenophobic:
An abuser is often someone who fears, distrusts, and
dislikes that which is foreign to them.
You
must follow their orders:
No matter what their partner does, an abuser is never
satisfied.
Zero
in on partner’s vulnerabilities:
Abusers often betray the trust of their partners and break
their confidences.
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Much
of this information is from: www.stop-domestic-violence.com
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Retired Brockton Police
Lieutenant Richard L. Davis has written an in
depth paper on the subject of 'Treating Domestic Violence:
A Holistic Approach'
and you can
read it here.
You can also get more
information about Massachusetts Domestic Violence Laws at: Domestic
Laws and Rules
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